...Don't Stand Underneath When They Fly By!

It's fortunate for the rest of the world that at any given time, only two people have to shoulder the burden of being the parents of the cutest kids alive. It's been said that the unspoken animosity of evey mother who sees them and has to compare them to her own kids, the requests for DNA samples for future cloning, and the substantial cash offers for knowledge of conception techniques are enough to drive a person to an early grave! Kayley and I are holding up just fine though.

This last Wednesday Claire managed to amaze us.
For those who don't know, Kayley's uncle Bob is from Holland originally, so they have some Holland-y traditions in their family. One of which is that everyone in the extended family is invited to come for a St. Nicholas party the first Wednesday of December. There they eat traditional food and Bob's specialties (Like some really good split pea soup. (I know, you never thought you would hear the words "really good" and "split pea soup" in the same sentance. (Hey, look! I managed to get a triple paranthetical statement! Woo-Hoo!))), play Guitar Hero III (Who knew that Guitar Hero III was a traditional St. Nicholas game?), and toward the end of the night everyone sings a song (the top picture is of Claire and I singing) to invite St. Nicholas to come, at which point he arrives (along with a couple of helper wenches and his slave Black Pete) and gives everyone a present.

Before we proceed, a little info on our little Claire-bear is in order. Do you remember King Ahasuerus from the Book of Esther who would execute anyone who dared to approach or speak to him unbidden? Yeah, she's like that. There are only a few people that Claire will allow to speak to her without freezing up, among them are Grandma Mary Kay, Aunt Karen and Grandpa Throop (which is kinda' weird since she almost never sees him). The whole night she only ever interacted with other kids, and anytime an adult had anything to say to her she would cover her eyes until they got the message and went away. All the people who know Claire were sure she would throw a screaming hissy-fit when we tried to put her on St. Nicholas' lap.

As for Allie, she was just fine with people passing her around like a syringe at a Hollywood after-party as long as the person holding her had a bottle. ("Oh, you're going to feed me now? Fantastic!") I suppose I would be okay with that too if everyone told me how attractive I am the second the saw me. Hint, hint.

Anyway, St. Nicholas came in his bright red robe, Catholic bishop's hat and staff, sat down, and started calling names for the people he had presents for. After about fifteen minutes Claire's turn came and we all braced ourselves for the seemingly inevitable outburst that never came. Kayley carried her over and before she could set Claire on his lap, our little girl dove out and gave St. Nick a huge hug around his bearded neck.

If you have read as many poorly written novels as I have, you've noticed that the words "collective gasp" get thrown around quite a bit. It seems to be used ad nauseum by authors who really have no other literary means of expressing the importance of an event, and as such the impact of a collective gasp is lost. Whether giant termites emerge from their nest in city hall, or the twin suns of Betelgeuse IV come over the horizon, or Cousin Maude has a three legged baby, eveyone always seems to simultaneously suck in as much air as they can.

Well, I can tell you that a collective gasp is an impressive thing. If there would have been a log burning in the fireplace when Claire leaped into Santa's arms it would have been immediately extinguished from the sudden lack of oxygen. After her turn with St. Nicholas was over, she had a big smile on her face as she bounced back over to me to show off her new Littlest Pet Shop. All anyone could talk about for the rest of the night and the next couple of days was how brave our little Claire-bear was. Amazing.

Anyway, Merry Christmas everyone, and if you see Santa and his reindeer, just remember the title of today's entry!

Sweet Relief! (Ya' know, 'cause we had sick kids)

Well, I am very, very happy to report that the girls are feeling better. Kayley and I finally got tired of all the pukin' and poopin' (and my goodness, there was a lot of both!) so we made an appointment with the doctor. Since Claire is such a shy little girl, we knew that she would throw a hissy fit when he came into the room. So, to try and prevent the hysterics before they started, we spent some time the night before the appointment practicing with her all the things he would probably do. (It came to me later that the pediatrician chose his profession he decided he wanted to have three year olds kicking, punching, puking and screaming in his face all day. Who am I to deny him his dream?) It turns out that Allie had a sinus infection, Claire had some fluid buildup behind her eardrums that made it hard for her to hear and they both had a touch of the flu. He game us some antibiotics and stuff to dope 'em up (It's disturbing to me just how much Claire loves to take medicine. If I still lived in that pot-head heaven known as Clearlake I would say her friends had been slipping her a little more than crackers at playtime.) and we all feel much better now.


I think I've mentioned this before, but Kayley loves her job. She especially likes it this year because she has a teachers aide all day, she's teaching all day kindergarten and her class size has been capped by the principle at 18 students. The reason for the cap is that Kayley has what she lovingly refers to as the "low kids" and what I jokingly call the "freakin' idiots" (I'm a bad person). Well, when she came home Tuesday she had a big smile on her face and practically skipped everywhere she went. Like I said, Kayley loves her job, but it's really emotionally and physically draining, so most days she comes home and has to collapse on the couch for a half hour before she feels like herself. So when she came home all spry and happy I couldn't help but notice. After about an hour of unrestrained bubbliness I finally asked what was going on. She sighed, looked off into the distance and with a euphoric smile said, "Five of my students were absent today!" I thought that was pretty funny.

I've got finals next week and I can already feel the ulcer starting. All three are comprehensive, so all this week I'll be trying to remember and relearn the equations, molecular names and electron pushing mechanisms that I've been studying for the past semester. (If you think that sentence is boring to read, imagine trying to do it!) All I can say is "Who needs sleeping pills?"